3.29.2009

expectations

i've been thinking alot about what i expect out of life and relationships, and ultimately how does this reflect my trust in the great power of the my Lord everday.

do i trust Him?
do i expect the best? or just a mediocre, average life...
do i expect joy & happiness? or just frustration and struggle...
is that really what the Lord wants for me. to be resigned to settle for just "ok".
i know life is hard. i promise. most days are a struggle for me. there are good days and there are bad days. but my only hope is that the Lord is working this all out for His glory, and when He is glorified is when i am most satisfied in Him and where He has me. that everyday i wake up and remember that i am His beloved! there's a relationship there. and i need to admit and repent on those days when i feel like the whole world is against me and i feel like i am utterly alone... it's just not true. that loneliness i feel is a complete rejection of what the Lord has done for me and our relationship. why do i ignore Him like that? why do i act like He isn't standing right next to me fighting for me and providing for me... 

i expect more of myself for i am His beautiful creation & He brought me into this relationship. 
i don't want to settle.
i want to see the Lord move and do great things!
i want Him to call me out and teach me when i don't trust Him with my heart. my hurt & pains.
He is able. more than able.

why have we stopped expecting great things from our King?