again so much has changed. the Lord never ceases to amaze me. He has impeccable timing and tact in everything He does.

i now live in the good state of kentucky, and my new boss calls me miss katie. he has many other hilarious sayings that can't be conveyed without hearing them and some that shouldn't be repeated, so you will just have to come and experience it for yourself. my father has decided i will sound 'cute' with a southern accent and i am afraid to catch it then also lose my ability to speak proper english. no hard feelings to any kentuckians but it's the truth. it's so nice to be back in civilization and i drive past the wendy's, panera, hobby lobby, target, etc in town and smile. when i hear some of my friends say that there is nothing to do in this town and i just laugh. never take wendys for granted. however i did learn today that their chicken blt salad has 750 calories!!! holy cow! that is nuts. it should say that on the container instead of just zero trans fat. there may not be trans fat but there are a billion calories that will make you fat. argh.

i hung out at the pool with ashley & christy most of the day on saturday and all i keep thinking of was the movie sandlot when the fat red-headed kid comes running across the pool deck and yells "CANNON BALL" and gets all the 'pool hunnies' wet. i have become a pool hunnie. and i love it.

new artist of the week: mikey wax

expectations

i've been thinking alot about what i expect out of life and relationships, and ultimately how does this reflect my trust in the great power of the my Lord everday.

do i trust Him?

do i expect the best? or just a mediocre, average life...

do i expect joy & happiness? or just frustration and struggle...

is that really what the Lord wants for me. to be resigned to settle for just "ok".

i know life is hard. i promise. most days are a struggle for me. there are good days and there are bad days. but my only hope is that the Lord is working this all out for His glory, and when He is glorified is when i am most satisfied in Him and where He has me. that everyday i wake up and remember that i am His beloved! there's a relationship there. and i need to admit and repent on those days when i feel like the whole world is against me and i feel like i am utterly alone... it's just not true. that loneliness i feel is a complete rejection of what the Lord has done for me and our relationship. why do i ignore Him like that? why do i act like He isn't standing right next to me fighting for me and providing for me... 

i expect more of myself for i am His beautiful creation & He brought me into this relationship. 

i don't want to settle.

i want to see the Lord move and do great things!

i want Him to call me out and teach me when i don't trust Him with my heart. my hurt & pains.

He is able. more than able.

why have we stopped expecting great things from our King?

how times fly

jumping back on the blog wagon. alot has changed but alot is still the same. 

the snow has finally started to melt! last weekend was the first time it had been above freezing since december 12. living only about thirty miles south of minnesota, i definitely (not so lovingly) refer to northeast iowa as "the frozen tundra". i walk to work everyday and when it was thirty below, i almost contemplated running outside to start my car and let it run for fifteen minutes just so i could drive it the like three blocks to work, haha. wow. that is cold. i can't wait for spring to come and stay.  

the fight is on: winter v. spring

if you know me even a little, you probably know that i am not a fan of inconsistency. whether it be in people, food, sports teams or weather, you name it, and it tends to get under my skin. yesterday was easter and yes it snowed... i left the lovely purdue campus on friday to make the trek home and it was 60, sunny, and i had broken out my beloved flip flops and my bling shades only to arrive home to 35 and an inch of snow covering the ground. a distance of only 75 miles but complete opposites, argh.

this frustration and other life occurrences have prompted me to think alot about "what frustrates me", "why does this frustrate me so much", and i think i have an idea. i dislike inconsistency because it is one of my biggest fears.

i fear becoming the person and the things i despise
i fear being fake and unauthentic
i fear becoming comfortable with the status quo
i fear not being able to live out the immensity of my love for Jesus
i fear i don't really grasp what His promises mean for me
i fear repeating the mistakes of generations past
i fear i am still believing lies from satan
i fear i don't have the boldness i need to speak out when others tell me to be quiet
i fear being blind and deaf to the Spirit's calling
yet in being fearful of these things i have become my fear. because if i am in Christ as i claim to be, fear has no place. fear: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, whether the threat is real or imagined. fear has been stealing my joy, makes life seem unbearable, and is a rejection of Jesus' death and resurrection for me. fears means it is never enough. it's like i am distressing myself with things that may never even happen. and what about psalm 27 that says "the Lord is my light and my salvation -- whom shall i fear?" i have nothing to fear. the reason i write this is because, in my short twenty-two years i have found that admitting my problems and fear is the only way i actually ever admit they are real. if someone else knows it is real and has to be dealt with. this is the first step. there is so much hope and refreshment in daily life with my Jesus, and i needed to be reminded of that. the mountains reminded me oh so vividly. the Lord always seems to have impeccable timing and skill in those instances where he wants to take me out of your comfort zone.

so as spring and winter fight it out (and duh we know which will win, it is a fact), i am fighting my fears with the same certainty from my Savior that spring will win out and my fears are bogus and unfounded. he calls me his own and i am his beloved.